| SYNOPSIS |
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This story captures the pulse of temperance in Victorian Kansas.
That evil red rum becomes in turn, MUR DER. The loving widow, Orpha Turkington,
and her daughter Lucy are on the threshold of being evicted by the villainous lawyer,
Cutha Cheeze (who is representing their kind and recently deceased landlord). The landlord's
son, J. W. Booth, is a recent college graduate and is returning to handle his father's affairs.
But J. W. is misguided by lawyer Cheeze! J. W. falls hopelessly in love with our heroine, Lucy,
marries her and saves the family from ruin, but not quite. Lawyer Cheeze and his hideous henchman,
Mr. Stickler, are set on destroying our hero with booze - specifically red rum. Of course it is
provided by Queenie, the drunkeon barfly and tavern owner under the spell of Cheeze. And if this
isn't pain enough, Annie, the child of Lucy and J.W. is brought into the world of cheat, deceit,
lying, plying, ruse and booze. The poor thing. Sound complicated? Just fast-paced and hilarious.
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| CAST of CHARACTERS:
4 women and 3 men or 3 women and 4 men or 2 women and 5 men |
| Orpha Turkington: |
The family matriarch and hypochondriac. She's spunky and verbose. Don't let that grey hair fool
you, she's got a fire burning inside. Actually there's more inside if you decide to have her
played by a man.
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| Lucy Turkington: |
She is always sweet and naive in spite of the trouble that plagues her family. J. W. is her
husband and like the song says, "Stand By Your Man." She holds the family together with love
and patience.
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| Cutha Cheeze: |
He's a lawyer, enough said. He once fell over board in shark infested waters and was not
eaten. Professional courtesy. He'll stop at nothing to achieve his goal of claiming Lucy for
his wife and sending J. W. Booth down the road of degradation.
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| Mr. Stickler: |
Administrative assistant to Lawyer Cheeze. This secretary is Not a toy, no my boy.
A throw back from every B movie horror flick. He would make even Ed Wood nauscious. Bad hair,
bad tongue and bad brain. Hmmm - a genuine movie triple threat.
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| J. W. Booth: |
Our hero. A typical college graduate. Stupid. But his heart is pure and his love for
Lucy is undying, until red rum pours into the picture. This poor sap, with a major in theatre,
falls apart when ever rum passes his lips.
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| Queenie Kelly: |
A graduate herself, from Clown College. Queenie owns her own business: Queenie's Cabaret
and Undertaker's Parlor and Grill. But Alas, booze has destroyed this heart of gold woman and
turned her into a lush. She is now under the spell of Lawyer Cheeze. Will he stop at nothing?
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| Annie (almost an orphan): |
The love child of J.W. and Lucy. This precocious and sassy child may be what the story
needs to save the day. Only two years old but the wisdom of a three year old. Named for her
grandmother Orpha, of course the sun will come out tomorrow, she's little Orpha Annie.
Usually this role is played by the same actor who plays the widow.
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